Super Geek

I am teh Super Geek!!!1!

I am not good at athletic sports, including golf.
I do not like the sun.
Things that go blinky-blinky are fascinating.
I play computer games about 4 hours per day.
I am on a computer about 16 hours per day.
I own more computers than most small countries.
I know what a vacuum tube is.
I know what ENIAC is.
I enjoy watching documentaries about most anything.
PEZ is still cool to me.
I read comics.
I prefer CLIs to GUIs.
I think laser printer technology is interesting.
My wife wants absolutely nothing to do with anything I say “Is so cool!”
My children still think I am cool.

kb9udr <——- Super Geek

I was sent an email with this ridiculously true excerpt:

I wonder how bwryboy feels when he goes to Wal-Mart? I wonder if he has ever entered the store? If not, then he must…MUST, I say! All decked out in his G.Q. sweater-vest outfit. If the Rednecks don’t beat him up in the Home & Garden department, the Indians are likely to jump him in the Automotive aisle. Note to self: Never go to Wal-Mart with bwryboy. It would be Teh Suxx0r!!1!

I have actually had people tell me that “The Wal-Mart over there isn’t THAT BAD.” It so makes me want to go there. If it isn’t THAT BAD, then the others must be full of venemous pets and flesh eating DVD’s. What is meant by NOT THAT BAD? I have never heard anyone say “Don’t go to THAT Buckle/PacSun/GameStop, go to the one on the other side of town.” I do, however, hear this comment about certain Wal-Marts, and from many different people.

My wife was in Wal-Mart one Saturday afternoon. She heard a bunch of screaming and hollaring a couple aisles over from her. When she looked, 2 black “ladies” were hurling jars of Ragu at each other…

I should go to Wal-Mart more often, and I should bring my camera.

kb9udr

Next Valentines day, all of my friends should be prepared to receive something similiar to this:

*cringe*

Thank you, FOUND Magazine, you’ve filled my life with Valentine’s Day queer…I mean cheer.

kb9udr

This is not skateboarding…this is GayBoarding.

Dude’s got mad skillz.

kb9udr

OMFG!

By clicking the above link, you relenquish all rights to your sanity. If you begin flinging your own feces at the wall, it is not my fault.

Oh, and watch out for KILLER MICROWAVES whenever you are in a white trash neighborhood, i.e., any trailer park in the continental United States. I just can’t understand how it was the microwaves fault…notice the title. I think it was framed by the drunk redneck.

We actually played some awesome darts last night, and yet we lost 9 games out of 12. Fricking-A-Right! That is how our dart season has been. I remember having a 7-mark round, my brother had a 9-mark round, my father had a Hat-Trick, and my cousin was getting several multi-mark rounds, as well. We played with gusto, but the other team played with mucho-gusto. Plus this complete “ass-of-a-human” kept walking right between where our flight path lies, and the bar, which is bout 24 inches of airspace. He screwed up one of my shots, and at least 2 for my cousin. He also screwed up the other team a couple times, and one of the tallest people in the world went over to the guy and told him to “never do that again”. The loser never did do it the rest of the night…he went all the way around the bar after that.

kb9udr

There are many things in life that one can fail at. When you take a test, there is always a chance you could fail. Studying for a test can improve your chances of passing dramatically. How does one study for a sperm test? You can practice, but studying is just not possible.

I can attest to the fact that “practice makes spermfect” because I passed my test. I can no longer procreate. The “juice” is no longer “loose”. I shoot blanks. They sucked me dry, and you may now call me dusty. I went to the doctor for a vasectomy, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. Somewhere, someone is happy that there will only ever be 3 Super Geek kids running around this world…that someone is me.

I still have to donate a follow-up sample in a few weeks, so it is not 100%, yet, nor will it ever be. I saw Jurassic Park. I know that nature always finds a way. Even after stitches and laser cauterization…

I could be a PrØn Star, now.

kb9udr

Found Magazine

A dead friend of mine pointed this out to me. I laughed at enough of it to warrant linkage.

Well, I have to go treat myself like an amusement park, so my doctor can get a sample. I can’t wait to find out if my vasectomy worked. I will let you all know if spooging in a cup is something worth trying. The nurses where my wife works said I have to fill it. I should…just to spite them.

kb9udr

I think my friend died.
I can’t let it slide.
Haven’t seen him for weeks.

Last time we hung out.
He said with a loud shout.
I smelled like chicken nuggets.

His blog is all lame.
And mine is the same.
I hope I don’t die too.

kb9udr

I feel like I should have been using food stamps and receiving a welfare check this weekend.

My wife was out of town for probably the first time ever…for the whole weekend. I had to BE a father to my 3 children, and my niece. Can you say “Supper will be at 9pm kids. Wake up, it’s time to eat supper and then go back to bed.”? I can. To top it off, two of my kids were experiencing what can only be classified as “yukky stuff” in their lungs and sinuses. I had to have my father come over Saturday morning so I could go watch my oldest daughter play in a volleyball tournament for 3 hours. On Friday night, I had my cousin’s wife watch the kids upstairs, so me and the guys could play poker downstairs all night. There should be a Nobel Father Prize.

Friday night poker was fun. I profited $10, which paid for my pizza. I think we need to play together more often so some of us know the rules and etiquette better. We will be playing again toward the end of May when we have our annual Dart Weekend. Hopefully my cousin and I can impress some etiquette and rules by then.

On Saturday, I had to get up early, get my daughter ready, and bring her to Seymour for her volleyball tournament. It was…interesting. I have played some volleyball in my day, and to watch 5th graders was excruciating. I could never coach children’s sports. They would hate me. She had a blast, and that was what mattered most. When we got back home, my dad had installed the glass on my vivarium. We cut the door in the back, poorly, and caulked all the seams. My cousin recommended putting a bowl of water in the cage, to help the caulk set. This was strange to me, but he explained that caulk actually needs humidity to dry. Go figure. Tomorrow, I can put in the sand. I still need to get some shelving setup, and get some things for my bearded dragon to sunbathe on installed.

Sunday was spent doing nothing. I played some Oblivion last night. I am only level 11, and feel really lame about that. I think DungeonRoamer is level infinity, has won the game 15 times, and he beat all 5 expansions that are not even developed yet. I did the second part of the main quest last night, and closed another Oblivion gate. I also did a couple other odd quests. I received a couple interesting loctaions that I have to go back to. I really enjoy the “random” dungeon crawls.

kb9udr

Nixie Clock Gallery.

Even Canadians like Nixie tubes.

You all know that I have issues. Some of you may not know about my fascination with blinking lights. I don’t even care what the device is, as long as it blinks, it is cool. My office, at home, is littered with blinky lights. I buy things just so I can plug them in and watch them blink. I am hoping that one day I will have so many blinky light devices in my office that I will not require normal lighting. It is a theory of mine that if I get an equal amount of all the different colors of LED’s that I will have created sunlight grade lighting.

I am a very traditional mad scientist. Because of my remedial mathematical skills, my theories have no formulas or proofs. They are simply ramblings. I am good at rambling…

Funny Story:

I was at the annual “Amateur Radio Expo” a few years ago. This is really a swap fest full of “mostly junk”, but sometimes you can find some good deals. We call that a “scarf”. It was the last day of the fest, and I was nosing around the grounds looking to see if anything I was previously interested in had come down drastically in price. I was stopped looking at a really neat old signal generator that the guy hooked up into a frequency counter. He did this only so that potential buyers would see that each was in working condition. The signal generator was set to, say, 8MHz, and the counter displayed 8,000,000Hz. This was not the amazing part. The freq. counter could be set to “count up” the frequency at certain intervals. Why one would want to do this, I have no idea…I am not knowledgable in such things. What I do know, is that I was captivated by the way that the counter would count up slow or fast, and at differing intervals depending on which way you turned the knobs. I think I played with it for about 20 minutes, all the while asking the guy really geeky questions, and receiving really geeky answers. He wanted $20 for each device. I was not preparred to pay that price, even for blinky lights.

I wanted to show my friends this cool thing that I had found. I was giddy as a school-boy! One of them said neat, with much sarcasm, another thought it was cool, but being the practical man that he is, he suggested I waste my money on a more updated device. It was then that the truth about my interests came to the surface. I told the guys that I didn’t care about functionality. I cared about the blinky lights… After a bit of chuckling we moved on. Later in the day I walked by the increasingly attractive display again. I talked to the guy and he said he would give me both units for $30. I started playing with them again, making the numbers count up, ensuring that it was all in working order. He even said he would throw in the leads he rigged up to go between them. I told him I would take the lot!

I required my friends help with carring one device whilst I carried the other, so I called them on my handi-talkie to ask for assistance. When they arrived, the seller overheard the guys picking on me. He asked what I wanted the devices for. I replied “The blinky lights.” He laughed jovially, and told me to enjoy my new toy. I walked away from his table happy as could be. I even had my cousin help me install an electrical outlet on my shelves so I could power the blinky-lights up and display them without running an extension cord.

On another occasion I purchased an old multi-meter, not because I needed it, but because it used Nixie tubes to display Volts, Ohms, and the like. I had never seen a Nixie tube before, and to me, they seemed the ultimate “blinky-light”. I even haggled the guy down quite a bit on his price. My cousin and I walked away from him several times before he accepted what I wanted to pay for it. I even made him go get the power cord and leads, which took him a few minutes to locate. My friends all knew exactly why I bought this clunky old meter…they didn’t even have to ask.

Each year since, I have received many a call on the radio, each day, that one of the guys found something with cool blinky-lights for me.

My mercantile skill is bigger than yours. Additionally, I receive a +10 when blinky lights are involved.

kb9udr