I have been a complete redneck, during this time of year, since I was 12. I go up north, in my big truck, with bright orange redneck lights on the roof. We drink beer, tell dirty jokes, fart, and eat raw beef on triscuits. Oh yes, we also hunt for deer.
Prologue: I hate rain. Since I was camping/fishing/canoeing in Canada, this past summer, I have harbored a deep, festering, puss filled hatred for rain. It rained almost all week whilst we were in Canada. I didn’t even want to take a shower when we got back, because it “reminded me of rain”. In the end, stench overcame fear. Fear is the mind killer, after all.
Chapter 1: I arrived “up nort” in the morning sometime. There was more and more snow on the ground as I was getting further north. By the time I actually arrived at the cabin, the trees were hanging with snow from every limb. This is important foreshadowment. Remember the hanging snow. We went for a little scouting into the forest around our cabin, and found a couple potential new spots for later on in the week.
Chapter 2: Saturday morning, and when I say morning, I mean MORNING. We get up, eat an unhealthy breakfast (non-hippy food), and head off to our usual hunting spot, which is about 30 minutes away. It is about 29 degrees. Perfect. I am wearing all my warm clothes, not my warmest, because 29 deg. is not that bad, but I am wearing warm clothes. Around 0900, it started to feel a bit warmer. The snow started falling off the trees. It was annoying as hell. I got hit on the head countless times. I even cursed out the tree I was standing under. Around 1100, I was looking to the NW, which is behind where I usually look. This was done, because the guys were going to be heading my way to pickup one of our deer, harvested earlier in the day, so we could drag it back to the truck. I was looking in that direction in hopes of them scaring a deer my way. I decided I better take a lookaround. As I slowly turned toward the SE, I see a deer, but the bastard saw me first. All I saw was a white tail bounding up the hill away from scarey, orange me.
Chapter 3: After lunch, which was a very non-hippy meal, again, with an obscene amount of dodging tree expelled snow clumps, it was back out to the woods. By this time it was over 35 degrees. Too damn warm for the snow. It all gave way at once. It was like a rain storm. Instead of snow clumps, we had rain coming down, just like in a rain forest after it is done raining ABOVE the trees, it continues for many hours UNDER the trees. By 1400 I am feeling pretty soaked, but moreso, I am just plain unhappy. Not cold, but unhappy. I decide to stick it out, because that is what a redneck would do. By 1500 I had given up, and walked back to the truck like a blaze orange wet ape. I set down my chair and bag-o-things behind the truck and walked to the front of the truck. As I unlocked the truck I decided that I could stand in the middle of the “road” and not get rained on. If I went in the truck I would be wet, if I stood in the “road” I would be wet, so the “road” seemed better, and less wussy. I elected to NOT put the keys in my pocket, due to the panic button, and the noise it would bring. I hung the keys on the truck antenna, so they would not get lost. When I looked up from the keys I saw a doe about 30 yards from the truck, due east. Up came the gun. I aimed straight for the heart, and dropped her right there. She never even saw me. I thought I was being pretty loud, but maybe that was just the sound of my heart pumping in my ears…
So there’s my hunting story.
Now I don’t have to tell it to any of you Super Geek transients. I know many of you would get annoyed having to hear it told over and over. Now you don’t have to suffer as much.
I will have pictures of deer carcases coming next week. I know you will all be waiting with bated breath.
kb9udr
